November 29, 2011

day three hundred.thirty.two

my parents packed up their house this past weekend. i did not grow up in this house, or even live in it. just spent a sunday afternoon, christmas or thanksgiving dinner here. still it was a little sad seeing their furniture splayed out on the driveway waiting to be loaded onto the truck to be taken to virginia. far too far away.

November 26, 2011

day three hundred.twenty.nine


creepy baby jesus lying in a manger of plastic hay.  i grew up in this town and every year they drag out the same creche. tonight we went down to see it and rock out to some local band play christmas music and pet dirty, smelly sheep. bring on the christmas season.

November 25, 2011

day three hundred.twenty.eight


after thanksgiving meal lounging. i am grateful for most everything. GOD'S word tells me to be grateful for all things, like the food and wine coma i was under today, but that is hard sometimes. how can one give thanks during the pain and sorrow? during the moments when we feel all is lost? during the times of desperate need? i think all i need to do is to mutter 'thank you' to the One who gave me the breath i am breathing in and out. the fingers moving to type this sentence. the child to discipline and love. the child i had to let go but still love. the husband who loves me in and out. the students who increase my stress level to unknown capacities. the sunsets and sunrises that continue to appear each day. it is because of Him that i have things to be grateful for. i was very attentive to the people around me the past few days. i think i heard the words 'thank you' a handful of times. a handful. five. i spend hours with ten {and eleven} year olds, a four year old, and a myriad of adults. i heard them utter thank you a handful of times. i can barely recall myself saying them. saddening that our hearts are that hardened to see where thanksgiving is appropriate. in all things. thank you jesus. for.....everything.

November 19, 2011

day three hundred.twenty.two


we had a wonderful time, son and i, watching the trucks and marching bands parade by. the question all morning was, 'will we see santa?' it is hard to believe that this same forty pound bundle of joy was such terror later in the day. i think he realizes his self-centered world is now off balance and no longer revolves around him and he is not going to give it up easily. and he feels that the way to justify any wrong done to him is through physical aggression. combine these two emotions and he explodes. i try to think of how i could have prevented his meltdown {there have been several of late}. maybe i should have forced him to nap today. maybe i should not have let him get out of bed early. maybe i failed some where, some how. it is horrifying to be 'those parents' that are dragging their son kicking and screaming out of a birthday party. we have 'that kid' whose strong will is being crushed and the only way he can voice his opinion is to scream with a decibel level shared with a piercing train careening down a broken track. so we come home and put him to bed and he falls asleep instantly. an hour before normal bed time. now we rest and lay in wait to see if what we tried to teach him tonight about loving those who do us wrong resonate at all.

November 15, 2011

November 11, 2011

November 09, 2011

day three hundred.twelve


this is my class today before the hockey game.

this is my class near the end.


i was exhausted when i came home. i did nothing but enjoy a great hockey game with a great group of kids.

November 06, 2011

day three hundred.nine


a literal bun in the oven. and, no, i am far from being pregnant. i think about it every day but right now do not want to be. i can barely manage one son as it is. so i bake and think.

November 01, 2011

day three hundred.four


still some trees clinging to autumn, refusing to give in to the cold snow at their feet