May 27, 2011

day one hundred.forty.seven

002
hopefully i will not have to adorn these lovely bracelets for a long time. today i felt robbed of a piece of my life. about thirty minutes. i do not remember. it is strange and frightening waking up not knowing a single thing that happened to you. perhaps i don't want to know all the details. when i awoke a flood of emotion including despair and fear washed over me. it was as if my body was reliving what it did exactly twenty days ago. then there's god. my heavenly dad who, in his infinite mercy, placed two people there with me today: my husband and a friend from church. she just happens to work in day surgery and just happened to be on schedule today. i am constantly reminded that god is downright good. god is good on the days i forget to cry and on the days i give myself a migraine trying to hold it in. i'm realizing i will never get over this, just grow with it. the growing part is stubborn though.

"...please be my strength
please be my strength
'cause i don't have any more
i don't have any more..."- gungor

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